5 Guaranteed Ways to Achieve Holiday Burnout

Dec 01, 2023

Ah, the holidays! That magical time of year when our work-life balance teeters on the brink of collapse, teetering between festive cheer and utter exhaustion. Here’s your roadmap to achieving the perfect holiday burnout, because who doesn’t love a good meltdown in the name of seasonal spirit?

  1. Embrace Your Inner Stimulant Connoisseur: Why stop at basic caffeine? Chain-smoke like it’s going out of fashion, and when in doubt, remember: more is more! Your heart racing faster than Santa’s reindeer is a sure sign you’re doing it right.

  2. Pointless Cards: The Art of Empty Gestures: Nothing screams "I care" more than a generic holiday card, ideally purchased in bulk. Bonus points if you forget to sign it. It’s the thought that counts, but let's face it, there wasn’t much of that involved.

  3. Stockpile Unwanted Gift Sets: Contact your favorite sales rep (you know, the one with the gray Prius) and order those holiday gift sets that everyone pretends to love but re-gifts at the first opportunity. Nothing says 'Happy Holidays' like a basket of scented candles and lotion that smells like a Christmas tree had a fight with a fruit basket.

  4. Turn Your Workday into a Work-marathon: Who needs a mere 8-hour workday? Ramp it up to 14 hours! After all, sleep is a concept invented by people who clearly didn't have enough to do. Remember, you can rest when you're dead – or at least hallucinate peacefully due to sleep deprivation.

  5. Health Insurance, Schmealth Insurance: In the wise words of... no one sensible, ever: "Work more, earn more, spend more on hospital bills." Without health insurance, it’s a thrilling gamble – will it be exhaustion or the flu this year? It's like Russian Roulette, but less immediately lethal and more financially draining.

And the cherry on top? Once you've successfully burned out by the end of December, you'll have the barren wasteland of January and February to look forward to. Your schedule will be as empty as your energy reserves, but hey, that's future you's problem. Until then, happy holidays and here’s to achieving a spectacular burnout! 🎄💥🚑

Blog by coach Ethan