Why Leadership Fails — And What to Do About It

By David Bosscher
Taken from the class Why Your Leadership is Failing

 The number one reason people leave salons?

Leadership.

It’s not news. It’s not profound. But it’s still the thing that drives people out the door faster than any pricing structure, brand name, or location ever could.

Here’s the trap:

Most salon owners start with one goal — never become their old boss. You know the one. The nightmare. The person who made you swear you’d run things differently. So you swing to the opposite extreme.

You start believing people will just do the right thing without being told. That they’ll lead themselves. That if you’re too directive, you’re just “being like your old boss.”

The joke? Life is managing people. If you’re destined to lead, you’re going to lead — whether you want to or not.

Leadership Isn’t Learned From a Book

I don’t believe leadership is a “choice” you can just opt into. Some people have it. Some people don’t. It’s shaped by your experiences — usually the hard ones. I’ve never met a strong leader whose life was picture-perfect.

Most leadership skills are forged in trauma, lack, or survival. Those skills serve you when you’re fighting to make it. But the same skills that got you here will hold you back if you don’t refine them.

Boldness without refinement becomes arrogance.

Honesty without skill becomes blunt force.

Drive without balance burns everyone out.

If you want to keep growing, you have to evolve your leadership style as the stakes get higher.

Leading From Lack

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: most of us lead from our personal areas of lack.

• If you’ve always feared abandonment, you might smother your team so they won’t leave.

• If you were taught to stay quiet, you might avoid hard conversations until it’s too late.

• If you were forced to be hyper-independent, you might hold everyone to your impossible personal standard.

When you project your own wounds onto your team, you’ll eventually burn them out — or burn yourself out.

The fix? Identify your areas of lack and actively work on filling them. Not with more policies or “motivational” pushes, but with actual personal work. Healing yourself is part of scaling your business.

Why “Full Chairs” Is a Trap

Every salon owner dreams of the day all their chairs are filled.

But here’s what usually happens when that day comes: you relax.

You stop hiring. You get comfortable. You start telling yourself, “I did it. I can coast now.” 

And then people leave.

The “once my chairs are full” mindset is an illusion of success. Full chairs don’t mean a healthy, growing business. Hiring has to be ongoing, because turnover is inevitable.

Stop Hiring People You Like

One of the fastest ways to wreck your leadership? Hiring people because you like them.

If you like them, you want their approval. And if you want their approval, you won’t lead them effectively.

Hire the person who’s skilled but different from you. The one you wouldn’t necessarily hang out with outside of work.

Hire for capability, not chemistry.

Friendship is optional. Respect is non-negotiable.

The Problem With Success

Here’s something nobody warns you about: success feels weird. Sometimes, it even feels bad.

We’re more comfortable struggling than we are succeeding. When the struggle stops, we have space to feel all the things we’ve been too busy to notice — the grief, the anxiety, the aches in our body, the cracks in our personal life.

This is why some owners sabotage themselves after hitting their goals. They’re not lazy. They’re not “burnt out.” They just don’t know how to operate without the adrenaline of constant problem-solving.

Your Vessel and Your Ego Grow Together

As your capacity for success grows (your “vessel”), so does your ego — the voice in your head that says you’re not good enough, that you should quit, that you’re failing even when you’re not.

If you don’t recognize it, your ego will convince you to shrink back down. It’ll tell you to go back behind the chair, lower your prices, stop hiring, or change direction — not because it’s the right move, but because it’s safer.

The Real Work of Leadership

Leadership isn’t about being liked.

It’s not about keeping everyone happy.

It’s about guiding people toward their own highest potential, even when it’s uncomfortable — for them and for you.

That means:

• Knowing your own areas of lack and working on them constantly.

• Hiring and firing without emotional entanglement. 

• Continuously recruiting (even when you feel “full”).

• Holding people to their potential, not just to your standards.

And most importantly: not mistaking comfort for success. 

If you’re feeling the weight of leadership, you’re not alone. But the more aware you are of your patterns — especially the ones rooted in your own history — the better leader you can become. And when you lead from a place of fulfillment rather than lack, your business stops being a burden and starts being the thing that frees you.