Overcoming People Pleasing

As a reformed people pleaser, I learned to bend over backward early on. I thought the more I did for others, the more they would do for me. It only took me a short 10 years in my career to realize this was not true.

Imagine this; we're giving discounts and squeezing in our cousins, sisters, uncles ex-girlfriend in for a haircut at 9:45 pm because she has a bridal shower in the morning. Cue the exhaustion and burnout. "

"But Ethan, If I stop people-pleasing, all my clients will disappear!" I'm here to tell you they will.

Here's the cool thing though we might hate to admit it; we've wanted them gone for a long time, and the only reason we're upset about it is that we're the reason they are still here.

What if we asked ourselves what would it take to please ourselves? "I want to be a balayage specialist." Then the answer becomes clear: stop doing stand-alone haircuts. "I want to become a cut specialist." Well, it's time to eliminate those hair colors clients you've been hanging onto.

We are the only thing standing in our way of forging our new realities. Making decisions that bring us closer to what we want is painful and scary because, as people-pleasers, we are not used to this boundary. On the other side of those risks and fears is the fulfillment we have always dreamed of. Admitting that we are causing this discomfort is where the real work starts.

Are you ready to start the work to find your fulfillment? 

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About the author

Ethan Flores is behind the chair at The Clean Beauty Boutique and is a coach for Destroy the Hairdresser. He specializes in teaching hairdressers and salon owners how to salon differently.