Conversations That Actually Change Behavior

Jul 14, 2025

By David Bosscher
Taken from the Restructuring the Write-Up class

Running a salon isn’t just about great hair—it’s about leading people. And sometimes, leading people means having uncomfortable conversations.

Let’s talk about what happens when proactive one-on-ones aren’t enough.

Enter: Write-Ups. Or as we like to call them, Proactive Conversations.

When to Have a Conversation

A proactive conversation isn’t for every little slip-up. It’s for moments when someone’s behavior has gone from a private challenge to a business problem—when it’s affecting your money or your reputation.

Examples:

Repeated lateness that clients start noticing
Undercharging clients and hurting revenue
Inconsistent pricing, which damages trust

If it’s costing you money or tarnishing your salon’s name, it’s time to document it.

The Three-Conversation System

We teach salon owners to handle write-ups as a structured, three-step process:

✅ First Conversation – Identify the problem, show your documentation, and ask the stylist to come up with their own solution to fix it over the next 30 days.

✅ Second Conversation – If the problem happens again, document it, discuss why the first solution didn’t work, and have them come up with a new plan for the next 30 days.

✅ Final Conversation – If it happens a third time, it’s termination. By then, you’ve given every chance for development.

“The hardest part about write-ups isn’t the paperwork—it’s following through.”

And that’s true. Many salon owners do the first and second conversation…but when it comes to actually letting someone go, they freeze. The process loses all integrity if you don’t follow through.

Why The Employee Has to Own The Solution

One of the most powerful parts of this system is that the stylist must come up with their own solution.

Here’s why:

You can’t hold people accountable to your solution. It has to be theirs.
If you create the solution, you’ll always be responsible for managing it—and that’s unsustainable.
People grow only when they think for themselves, even if their first ideas are clumsy or imperfect.

And yes—sometimes the stylist will come up with a solution that sounds weak, like “I’ll read some self-help books.” It might not feel strong enough, but it’s the only thing you can hold them accountable to.

If someone can’t come up with a solution at all, you give them until the end of the day. If they still can’t? It’s likely time for termination.

Write-Ups Are For Development, Not Punishment

Here’s the part so many leaders get wrong: write-ups aren’t about punishment. They’re about development.

They exist to:

Create clarity about expectations
Document repeated problems
Give someone a chance to grow out of their habits

And if they do change? Fantastic. You toss out the documentation. A stylist shouldn’t be punished forever for something they fixed.

If they don’t change—then yes, it’s time to part ways.

“This isn’t about being the bad guy. It’s about protecting your business—and giving people the chance to grow before you make hard decisions.”

Final Thoughts

The conversations that lead to write-ups are uncomfortable. They should be. Growth only happens in discomfort—for you and for your team.

But remember: you’re not here to be everyone’s friend. You’re here to run a sustainable business.