It’s Thor! It’s Jesus! Wait, no, Jim Morrison! Okay, not quite. It’s just another dude sporting long-ass hair. American boys are avoiding their barber shops and letting it grow. I’m not just talking about the hair on their heads, either. They are letting it all grow. The hair on their faces is out of control due to hipster mania, and, thanks to a recent article that has gone viral on Facebook, the hair down there. We all know about the envied and cherished man-bun. It came, it saw, it conquered all about a year ago. That being said, men started getting bored and began shaving the sides of their heads to create the trendy hipster topknot, but now something else is happening. Messiah Syndrome has hit the U.S. and is now affecting guys and their hair. Now dudes are George Of The Jungle-ing it everywhere we look. I haven’t seen this much hair on men since the release of Passion Of The Christ. Trust me, I am not complaining, and I really don’t think anyone else is, either. We now have men like Brock O’Hurn to entertain us! We crown him Best Instagram Man-Mane. With 411K followers, he is doing something right (and I am sure being nearly seven feet tall and sexy as hell is helping). Models like Ben Dahlhaus, one of the first of his kind, are building momentum. The long beard and long hair require a specific booking. Thanks to hipsters everywhere I am sure he will be landing a huge contract very soon (if he hasn’t already).
You want to be on trend? You want to grow out a Man-Mane of your own and not look like a chia pet while you're doing it? I have created a simple three step process for you to achieve your goals.
- Grow the top! Do not focus on anything else but the hair on the top of your head. Get your monthly haircuts but only focus on cutting the sides and the back. Once the hair on the top of your head lays by or past your ears, you can move onto step two.
- Grow the sides! With the top covering your ears you can now somewhat comfortably grow out the sides. They will catch up faster due to their origin of growth. You can also grow out the hair on the upper part of the back. Keep going in to the salon or barber to get the neckline cleaned up and shaped. No one wants to see a mullet in public. Once the sides and some of the back catch up, then you can move on to the third and final step.
- Grow the back, grow it all! You're in the clear! No mullets, and no awkward shaggy grow-out. Let the hair do its thing. Just make sure you keep the hair healthy with protein and oils, so you don’t end up with natural dread locks. (No offense to my dread heads out there!)