Thanksgiving: Permission Granted

Hey you! I give you permission to enjoy the day!

You… its hard to not feel guilty about being worried about money when there are other people who have it worse… I give you permission to deny the guilt and worry.

You… you loved Thanksgiving as a child, until you learned the real history.  Put that aside,  you didn’t do anything.  Don’t apologize, you are allowed to enjoy this warm family occasion without guilt.

You… the one staring at your plate, mentally counting calories.  You might have a lean body you may be labelled as obese.  Both of you are allowed to feel your feelings. I give you both permission to be released from worry and anxiety. Enjoy your food and savor it.

You… the one worried about providing for the holidays. I give you permission to stop worrying.  All anyone needs really is you presence. Your kids want you and your family wants you.  Be present and all will be well.

You… the one that gets irritated hearing the religious and atheistic arguments that are about to take place. I give you permission to let the irritation go. You don’t deserve it, and they don’t deserve your energy.

What do you worry about? What darkens your thoughts when it shouldn’t? I give you broad permission to let it go.  

Kate Wright
Lead Blogger

Wisdom From A Hairdresser With Cancer

There is no better time than now.  

Hello!  This is Kate the blogger, back from an almost yearlong sabbatical.

It has been a year of many experiences I never thought I would have, experiences that required the practice of mindful breathing, meditation, and keeping my mind in a positive place no matter what was going on. It’s not much, but here is a bit of wisdom.

Don’t wait. There is no time to wait.  There’s no more waiting until student loans are paid off before you start a business, or waiting until the perfect living situation arises before you move, or even waiting for your video gamer husband to finally notice the window in the bathroom needs fixing.

I want that window fixed?  I have to just do it.

You want to work with celebrities in New York?  Move.  Now.  Get rid of your stuff and do everything you need to do to live in the Big Apple and work 24/7 to make contacts and book jobs. 

You want to work less? Cut back your hours NOW!  Money will come.  The last year has been interesting financially. I have worried about it less than I have at previous points of my life.  Something amazing happened: when I let go of my fear, both emotional and financial support came to me. 


KNOW YOURSELF.  What do you want?  What do you like?  Not what influencers tell you to like. Not what your family says you should do. I spent 17 years in the salon industry and I am only now realizing that I shouldn’t choose my career path based on trying to work with this person or relaying the message of a company enough that they might promote me. Promote YOURSELF. Work for your personal mission. You’ll never ‘be something’ while spewing forth someone else’s message.  Imagine what you could do if, instead of trying to recreate someone else’s work, you developed your own look?  Is that what you want?  Or you might genuinely enjoy being behind the scenes or working on someone’s team. Spend time thinking about it because if you don’t have a clear picture, you’re going to float down the stream of life instead of paddling to where you want to be.

Be okay with yourself. Maybe you do want to float down the river instead of paddling hard to reach a specific destination.  It can be very calming to stop fighting and let go.  I give you permission to be okay with NOT being that Instagram star or not wanting to own a salon.

The Big Reveal is that about a year ago I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Liver cancer.  The rare kind.  Its total bullshit; I don’t even drink.  But it really took a toll on me physically, financially, and mostly mentally.  Contemplating the meaning of life, trying to grasp the actuality of my own death, and re-evaluating where my life is has been brutal.  Cyd and David have been amazing and given me both the support and space that I needed.  And it has been awesome to see Destroy the Hairdresser grow and flourish.

At first I was waiting…waiting to book a photo shoot, waiting to take a class, waiting to travel out of town until my treatment was done.  The reality is that there is no time to wait.  I can do all those things AND live with cancer. (ideally eventually be healthy and cancer-free).  I can even be dying of cancer, but I can’t wait around doing nothing but Netflix and chilling my way through radiation and chemo. There is no better time than now.

Kate Wright
Lead Blogger

Top Hashtags For 2019

We all use them, we all <3 them, and we all hate them.

Face it: hashtags are wonderfully overwhelming. Most of us in the beauty industry are using Instagram, more than any other social media outlet, to beef up our online presence. Why?


Because a picture is worth a 1,000 words. Taking a decent photo of beautiful hair and posting it online is not enough. To build a following on Instagram, proper hashtaging is of the upmost importance. Hashtagging categorizes your photos that fellow Instagram workers can see when they hashtag surf.  Some hashtags are for personal use and some are followed daily by millions.

It might feel sleazy and manipulative but the truth is that there is an art and an algorithm for success with hashtags. Users are more active at different times of the day and even on different days, so posting during the busy traffic times will help get more attention.  Keeping the initial tags in the picture description to a maximum of three keeps the post clean when you cross it to other social media (i.e. posting to Facebook and twitter simultaneously from Instagram). Don't worry, your picture will still be surf-able.


Instagram has allegedly started to implement shadow-bans on accounts using too many and repetitive hashtags. What does this mean? Shadow-banning is the when we post a photo on Instagram but it does not go into the categories we hashtagged, the location we posted, or show up on our followers feeds. Essentially no one will see our post unless they visit our page. Our advice is to use only three hashtags in each post, changing them up each time. This will help you avoid the shadow-ban.

CLICK HERE to see if your photos have been shadow-banned by Instagram.

Throughout the last few years Destroy The Hairdresser has been experimenting with industry hashtags to see which ones get us the most attention. Feel free to copy and paste the following hashtags into your Instagram posts (only using 3) to get more followers and likes. Make sure you save the hashtags in your notes or somewhere on your phone so you can easily access them when you need them!

#destroythehairdresser #modernsalon #hairbrained #saloneducation #behindthechair #hair #salonlife #beauty #hairstyle #haircolorists #haircolor #hairtutorials #hairtrends #trendyhair #beautifulhair #hairpainting #bayalage #hairdresser #style #hairporn #balayage #haircolor #haireducation #hairoftheday

3 ways to make it more Personalized

1. Tag your brand

Which ever company you are working for or what ever products you use. Tag them.

2. Don't forget about the days of the week

People love a #Transformationtuesday or a #tbt so have fun with it. You can also make up your own like #sassybitchsunday or #SBS (I use that for brunch time) 

3. Where the hell are you?

Hashtag your location. When clients are trying to find new stylist in their area they will search hashtags. 

Cyd Charisse

The Next Time Theory: More Than Just A Pre-book



When it comes to being successful behind the chair, most stylists think it's all about getting "new" clients. Bringing in new clients is never something to stop focusing on but we need to optimize the ones that we have. Stop working harder and work smarter. We need to create something I call HCT or “Happy Client Talk”. We need to focus on getting our clients ‘mouths-a-flappin’. This is the secret to growing our current and future business at the same time!

The Next Time Theory is exactly that, focusing on the next time, the next service, and the next visit. 

Yes the goal is to get your client to come in every 4-6 weeks. But for what? The same old thing? You may find that the Baby Boomer generation and Gen X’ers enjoy this consistency but Millennials and Gen Z’ers do not.

Make a plan and create something new for them. Sometimes something small and simple in the hair can make a big difference. Not only are you getting the client excited for their next look but it can also be an opportunity to enhance your service.

Stop thinking about up-selling, stop thinking about add-on services, and start thinking about their next visit. You owe it to your client to enhance their image a little bit each time. Changing and tweaking details every visit. 

What are some things you can change and tweak to enhance the next service?

  • Work on the health of the hair

  • Change the highlighting technique for a new effect

  • Try a new toner to enhance the color

  • Change the texture with new product

  • Experiment with some new layering

Sometimes clients don't know they want something new and this can result in them wanting to change salons or get a new stylist. But please remember you're the professional and they are in your care. So if you feel like they need to make a change, you need to communicate your ideas with them. Not only does this build a trusting relationship with your client but it can also inspire you as an artist who needs new stimulation.

How do you discover what that ‘something new’ is?

Start with information mining. What's going on in your client's world. Are they starting a new job, a lifestyle change, or what about vacation? Is Summer over or is it time to create some dimension for fall? How can we create something "new" or "beneficial" for the next time. 

Remember its all about the ‘Next Time’!

You want to own the conversation. Create the plan. Have the confidence to say what you want for your guest. I mean its your name all over the work.

Cyd Charisse

Are You Trying Too Hard?

Over the summer I was able to spend some time with my yogi friend at her home in North Carolina. It's always a pleasure to visit her and spend a few days stretching and lengthening myself. New York City has a way of sitting heavily on your shoulders. While I was there were talking about meditation, something I struggle with, and she brought up a very interesting lesson. She said that when we are meditating there are times when we use the sound 'om' to help keep us centered and connected. The unique thing about the 'om' sound is that each person pronounces it differently, lengthens it differently, and at different volumes. These slight differences make it a personal practice. However, Americans tend to struggle with this idea. When using the 'om' sound Americans prefer to say it perfectly by mimicking the instructor as much as possible, as loud as possible, and as long as possible. This usually creates a tension in the individual by exhausting their breathe and causing them to focus on everyone around them and not on themselves. Essentially, our attempt of trying turns into the breakdown of trying too hard leaving us frazzled, disconnected, and stressed. 

This concept is very much true for business owners and hairdressers. When we watch others around us doing things in their own unique way we should not attempt to mimic them as perfectly as possible, as long as possible, and as loudly as possible. We do not need to try so hard when it come to business and skill. Learn from others experiences, gain inspiration from those you look up to, and use it all as fuel to get to your next level. Pave your own path in business, 'om' on your own. 

Why I Threw Away My Business Plan

I threw away my business plan, got a coach, opened my salon in six months, and made a profit in the first 30 days.

Let’s flashback to a few weeks prior to my initial phone call.  When I began coaching with Destroy The Hairdresser, I had a goal to open a salon. I was researching feverishly into the night.  I had spreadsheets, lists, and ideas.  I was formulating a plan and doing my best to get it all on paper.  I had given myself a goal, but what was I researching?  How to Write a Business Plan. 

I reached a point in my research where I didn’t know anyone else to ask.  I realized I didn’t have a mentor.  Other hairdressers and colleagues were asking me advice and I had no one to ask except the internet.  The internet is not a great mentor.  Yet, I was determined to write this business plan because that’s “the process”.  Even after I signed up with Destroy the Hairdresser, I was still researching and working on this imaginary plan.  I expected that I would get a template from my coach, David, at some point because I was in the leadership program.  Wrong!


With DTH I was doing all of the other internal work. I was transforming my thinking and destroying my old patterns and fears.  Yet I was toiling away on this document.  Of course, it is a necessary step for some, if you need to secure a loan.  I had already secured my funding and was still working on my laptop into the night trying to create Excel sheets.  Imagine it... me, a hairdresser with an art degree making spreadsheets, pretending to know what I’m doing! 

Why does any of this matter? I realized I didn’t trust myself or ask for help. Trust yourself and ask for help.  I didn’t trust myself for a long time.  I trusted parts, but not the whole.  I learned that I am much better suited to create the vision and empower people than I am toiling over spreadsheets and a plan.  There are a lot of people that love spreadsheets and budgets but not me.  I now ask for help and delegate those duties.  Plus the plan is a projection.  It’s an imaginary *cross your fingers* plan of what might happen. 

I threw away my business plan because I learned how to trust myself and my strengths, and to also trust the strengths of others.

Throw away your business plan, get a coach, get where you want to be in six months, and make a profit in the first 30 days.

 Kate Kent
Junior Coach

A Healthier Wealth

Most of us believe that hiring a financial advisor will help us control our spending and increase our wealth, and we wouldn’t be wrong. However most of us have messed up beliefs around money. The way we spend, the way we save, and the way we invest is usually wrapped up in layers fear, insecurity, and doubt... just to name a few. Some of us even make the mistake of assuming that simply hiring someone else to take care of it for us will make it all better. A great bandaid. 

The rest of this article is written for those ready to truly take charge of their career and their finances. This article is dedicated to those ready to grow a healthier wealth. 

Destroy The Hairdresser has helped coach over 100's of people in this last year alone into healthier wealth lifestyles. This is incredible considering we are not financial coaches or advisors! How is it possible? 

Our team of career coaches are trained to help stylists and salon owners uproot their old money habits and transform them into new belief systems. Our programs go to the seed level of an individual and promote change where change needs to be promoted. To change the flower you must manipulate the seed. 

By helping creative professionals break through their damaging belief systems about money, we change the cause of the their unhealthy wealth and in effect create a healthier wealth consciousness. 

What is healthy wealth?

Whether we have $1 or $10,000 in savings we can still achieve a healthier wealth. Not only do we help people achieve more money in their lives but we also help them find the fulfillment within it. To be a millionaire means nothing when you can’t experience the fulfillment within it. 

Imagine we are all small vessels, and our fulfillment is determined by the size of our vessel. Can we hold a small amount or large amount of fulfillment? Some of us are happy being a small, but full, vessel. But if we want more money and more fulfillment we need to grow our vessel! The bigger the vessel the more fulfillment we can hold and experience.

DTH coaching is the program that helps you become a bigger vessel, in order to experience and manifest more money and fulfillment. For those of you ready to grow your vessel you can get started with these three easy action steps:

1. Discover your comfort zone. Yes we must live outside of our comfort zone as much as possible but how can we do that when we haven't explored our boundaries. Take a look at where you are unwilling to change. Ask a friend or colleague to help point out your comfort zone. Be gentle in this process.

2. Our vessel grows when we are uncomfortable and the quickest way to be uncomfortable is to take healthy risks! Take a risk on a daily basis. Write it down, execute it, and share your experience with others.

3. Get a coach. If you haven't started building a personal relationship with a coach you should do that as quickly as possible. We can push ourselves only so far before we will stop and retreat. A coach will help you keep momentum when growing you vessel. Want to start with DTH click here! There are many other coaches out there in the world. Just make sure you start, take the risk, and dive in. 

2018 is all about Healthy Wealth, and we hope that our team can help you get there.

- David Bosscher  

Sit Down, Shut up, and Breathe

Depression is often explained by feeling we are living in the past.  Anxiety is your brain  existing in the future instead of focusing on what is currently happening.  As a hairdresser, it is easy for us to experience both.  Depression over a past service that was not up to par.  Or shoving an entire Chipotle burrito into your stomach during your two minute break.  There is anxiety and fret about next week's books still sitting at 40% productivity.  What is that four hour color correction tomorrow about and what am I going to do? 

These feelings can distract us from the most powerful time in our lives: the present.  What is happening right now?  No, don't think about the next client walking in.  Don't think about the argument with your spouse from last night.  What are you feeling NOW?

Mindful meditation is a practice Destroy the Hairdresser wants you to employ to keep yourself in each moment.  It's less about sitting lotus-style and chanting 'om' as it is a helpful brain and body exercise that can be done daily with ease to keep you grounded, aware, and healthy.

What is the point of mindfulness in meditation?  It is about being aware of the now.  Take a seat.  The floor or a chair is just fine.  Take some time to experience how your body is feeling.  What are you supposed to be feeling? As I type I notice my calves are tight, probably from a day of standing.  My feet feel swollen.  My lower back I want to rip out and replace with a teddy bear hug but that's not practical.  So I let myself feel the obvious discomfort just above my tailbone all the way up through my shoulder blades.  I remind myself that this is my body and it's allowed to feel how it feels.  Sitting meditation doesn't look to relieve suffering, only to acknowledge it as a part of the human condition.

Sounds bleak, right?  But the more I do it, the more I am able to adjust my habits such as stance, stretching, and over-exerting with long work hours and intensive blow dries to be kinder to this meat-sack I live in.

The 3 

  • Body
  • Breath
  • Thoughts

After taking some time to say hello to your body and what is happening with it, turn your attention to breathing.  As someone who can't focus for longer than a minute, the repetition of in and out and in and out (keep it clean people) is both working physiologically as well as mentally to keep us in the moment.  Try this with your eyes open, focused on one object or space in the room.  Use it as a focal point.

Let your thoughts go.  As I practice my mindfulness I don't focus on emptying my brain so I am a vessel waiting to be filled with enlightenment, I just...let my thoughts go.  Say your gratitude's.  Feel the feelings.  If you feel depression and anxiety creep in, reel in the thoughts until you can be in the now. 


Why do we recommend this?  As hairdressers. we take on the burdens and energies of those we work on and work with whether we like it or not.  Without hitting the reset button so we can be still in our bodies and minds, it is easy to burn out.